The Show Still Goes On

theaterThe teach thinks the nudity looks too gratuitous. He doesn’t see a reason for me to be naked. He doesn’t think the fact that I’d be naked IRL in the situation isn’t all that relevant. Maybe to me as a person – and it is my show – but one has to think of the audience. What will they make of the nudity?

I cannot dismiss his questions out of hand. Nudity doesn’t bother him in person or on the stage. I shopped it in front of his textiled acting class. I’ll definitely shop it again.

Nudity on stage is powerful. Male nudity on stage is rare enough that it is doubly so. The nudity sweeps away the acting. I may be an old man considering suicide on stage but the nudity distracts. OTOH, while this is not entirely biographical – the scene I posted earlier is an older man than I with far more medical issues – it does represent my fear of the future.

If I were to use the bathroom in the middle of the night I’d be nude. If I were drunk as a skunk in almost any situation, I’d be nude. (A good reason to stop at two drinks at social occasions!) If I were to commit suicide, I imagine I’d do it nude.

Nudity is a powerful symbol if you can tame it. It can be innocence. It can be a threat. It can be vulnerability. It can mean honesty with nothing left to hide. It can be eroticism. It can even be comedy. (Nothing in the anatomy of a human is as funny as a penis flopping about.) So there are reasons for the nudity beyond my own personal desire to normalize the state.

I have have had some work with the director. Not nearly as much as I’d like. She lives just far enough away to make physical visits difficult and there is a dearth of suitable free rehearsal spots. The weather is miserable so using a park isn’t an option right now.

I think she really wants to do it but she is nervous about the crazy old man she’s working with. I understand that. Yet this is not a nervous script at all. It is bold, much bolder than anything I would have done. It makes the nudity a very necessary element. Putting her at ease will be more important than anything else I do. I tweaked a couple lines, cut out a bunch of stuff I’d written. Otherwise, it is what she gave me.

She emailed me a new script. I’ll try shopping it at the next acting lesson.


From now on you can call me:

Foreskin Fred

Toilet flushes.

*Make moans backstage as if in agony + pain but really just
making sounds while dancing because he’s drunk.

Door DL goes to a bedroom and is closed. DR there is a
television on a stand. The door at UR is partially open.
Light streams thru it. A hand reaches and grasps the door
frame. A man emerges, wearing just fuzzy slippers and
carrying a drink.

I have the bladder capacity of
VERY pregnant woman.

Or… a kid who is afraid to go to sleep
because they are afraid they might
wet the bed.

Takes a sips of brandy and drunkly softly twirls it.
Grabs a couple of pills on the stand. Then dances over to
mirror to look at himself for a brief second before he begins
to shake the pills and dance in front of the mirror.

(In a whimsical drunken tone he says)
I came into this world naked and by God
I’m gonna leave that way

You know what they say about
babyboomers with foreskin!?

Lowers one bottle to his genitals and begins to shake it
where his genitals are. (Masturbation simulation?)

Fuck it. It’s my last night on this
planet. So I’m going to boogie like
I’m in Wonderland.

Tells a brief story about what a nurse told him about men with
foreskin.

Accidentally drops a bottle after telling the story. Bends
over to pick up bottle. Then looks over to the couch and
finds his remote on the floor. His back objects.

OWWW! GODDAMMIT BOB SAGET!!!
Oh, so that’s where the remote was all this
time.

Stands up straight, rubs back, rotates shoulders and rolls
neck slowly.

Ladies and gentlemen brace yourselves!

Walks over to the couch. Bends over to pick up remote. Fred
hurts his back and falls over on to the couch.

Ahhhh fuck. Not again. Well while
I’m down here, might as well see
what’s on TV.

As he is laying on the couch. He blindly reaches for his
Brandy. Takes a sip and turns on the TV.

*{record your self as a sexy female voice saying (Hey guys.
When it’s just the two us, make sure everything goes smoothly
with Viagra.)}

He jabs the remote.

**{record your self as a powerful man voice saying (are you
afraid of disappointing your woman? With Extenze, enhance
your desire, your endurance, and your performance.)}

He jabs the remote again and throws it at the TV. He hurts
his shoulder in the process and the remote falls near Fred.

I know I’m getting old!!!

Throws one fist in the air while sipping his brandy.

I don’t need a fucking commercial
and remote to tell me that. My body
is letting me know enough.

Puts drink down to try and rub back and shoulders.

The same amount of exercise leaves
me more tired. My body parts break
more easily. Food gives me a faster
beer belly. My joints ache.
Sometimes I can hear them screech
in agony.

Oh and my eyes. Sending
my condolences now Millennials.
Good luck with a “smartphone” and
reading your medicine bottles.

 

Puts glasses on. Squints at his smartphone, Holds it away for
a better view. Picks up a pill bottles and reads:

I used to take these. As directed.
They can eat a hole in your
stomach. Now I save them for the
shit storms of bad days. So I’lll put you
right here.

Places pill on stand and picks up another bottle.

These… Ahh … They’re really
nice but possibly addictive, causes
constipation. So what? With enough booze
they are lethal…

He struggles to open the bottle and takes pills. Washes it
down with brandy and toss it behind himself. Grabs another bottle

These are for my muscle spasms.
Toss them. Grabs another bottle.

And these are for migraines.
Toss them. Grabs another bottle.
Fred is Beginning to get annoyed and upset

THIS IS FOR MY STOMACH!!!
RAPIDLY picking up the pace
Toss them. Grabs another bottle.

AND THIS IS FOR JOINT HEALTH
Toss them. Grabs another bottle.

AND THESE ARE FOR MY CHOLESTEROL, SO
I CAN DIE FROM CANCER LATER
INSTEAD OF A HEART ATTACK SOONER.

He laughs viciously and then slowly begins to whimper.
Toss them. Slowly grabs another bottle. Sighs in sadness.

And these are for {long pause} ED.

Now I need them. It is beyond a
crutch. It is a wheelchair with underinflated tires

Feeling embarrassed and ashamed. He quickly takes one with a
big gulp from his brandy.

That’s much better. If I’m gonna die, I wanna die hard.

(Sings) One pill makes you
harder and the other keeps
you smaller. And the ones
to shrink my prostate, doesn’t
do shit at all.

I took these for depression for 25
years. And phased them out. That’s
when I discovered that there were
no longer helping.

I have become a testament to better
living thru chemistry.There is arthritis in every
important joint in my body.  I can
still walk to stay in shape. But is
this really in shape?

Oh yes and
that is only because of fucking
injections. The doctors gleefully
enumerate all the joints they want
to replace. I am pre-diabetic. My
prostate is ginormous and my
bladder is inflamed. Kidneys are full of cysts.

Stands and addresses the audience.

I hate medications. Every pill
symbolizes a physical failure. Every
prescription highlights inadequacy. 

Every injection feels like another nail
in my coffin. That may sound odd,
coming from a guy who really
enjoyed recreational drug use when
he was young.

Those drugs weren’t necessary to
function. They were fun. I didn’t
resent them anymore that I would
resent any other toy.  Sure sex is more
intense while I was high but I
didn’t need to take drugs that have
great sex.

He grabs… and then drops his penis.

Starts to smile and looks more relaxed.

But when I was young…. Funny how good things
 stay in your head and the bad things slip away


This is a much more intense approach. I’ll be even more nervous than the first time.  In theory, I don’t mind doing this for an audience. God knows I did much raunchier stuff when I was 22 and doing strip-o-grams for drunken middle-aged ladies. This is not nudist behavior, it is more elemental. The audience will be sober and judging me. I’m hoping it isn’t too raw for the instructor.

By taking an OD of pain pills, I can slowly get more drugged over the course of the show. I can use the time to step through the journey that is my life. Long term tension as the audience wonders if I’ll live. How will I factor in the Viagara I took? Not sure.

I have two needs right now, a 7-minute preview for the showcase (assuming I can make it) and the full show that could take up to an hour. By the end of that hour, I’ll have discovered a reason for living and managed to punch 911 or something and collapse.

This is getting interesting!

Nude model.png

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